EDIT: Oh right, also YouTube

DOUBLE EDIT: It appears Universal will not humor idiots running around their living room lip synching to one of their songs. Well, not if it’s framed nicely, at least. So the YouTube link is dead.

Okay okay okay, calm down guys, calm down. I’ve got a hilarious joke to tell you.

Q: What’s the difference between cats and dogs?

A: Dogs DROOL, but cats …

RULE! Yah!

Writing has always been a problem with me. I can think of really cool ideas, and laugh merrily to myself as I drive home at reckless speeds in order to put the pen to paper (or electrical signal to Word document), but then when it actually comes down to it I stare at the blank screen for about an hour before standing up and making myself a sandwich. I think it’s because I’m intimidated by the white screen, cursor blinking at me, mocking my inability to pare down the infinite number of things that I could possibly write down into the one selection that I should make.

Well, no more of that! I will start writing on black paper! With white pencils! Or in the margins of other scripts! Or on my arm! Or maybe I’ll just give up and become a waiter in Southern California, like everybody else with half a script.

Eeeeeeeeeeee!

Yeah, I wish that the title had something to do with the actual post, too. I could try to make up something poignant about the modern courting tradition, but honestly I’m not that versed in said courting tradition, and even if I were I shouldn’t base things I write on an admittedly lame pun on some Vanilla Ice lyrics. It’s just bad form.

Go Ninja Go Ninja Go Ninja Go.

I have a question. There are many songs about California- “Southern California”, “It Never Rains in Southern California”, “Californication”, “California Stars”, and so on. Well, would anyone care to enlighten me as to why there are no songs about Wisconsin in the same vein? “It Always Is Crappy Weather in All of Wisconsin”. “Winsconsinuation”. “Wisconsin Smog.” While we may not have surfing or happy cows, we have miserable cows and sitting around and doing nothing! Certainly that warrants some amount of pop-songs.

So true.

My dorm room is generally pretty quiet on Friday nights, since everyone in the surrounding rooms are out getting drunk. Tonight, however, some guys in the room adjacent to mine appear to have decided to bring the party back to the dorms (”WOO! LET’S GET SMASHED IN A 9 by 12 ROOM CLUTTERED WITH DIRTY LAUNDRY AND PAPER STREWN OVER THE FLOOR!”, I imagine is how their conversation went). And just now, one of them just made it very clear over the sound of hip hop blaring, bass thumping, other guys yelling, girls giggling and drinks being spilled, that “MAN! WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN INTERIOR DESIGNERS!”

My heart goes out to you, my inebriated friend. We’ve all been there at one point, ignoring the TV, ignoring our friends pleas that they are totally going to throw up this time, ignoring the drunken girls making out on our bed, and suddenly realizing- “I don’t want to be a philosophy major. I don’t want to practice philosophy for the rest of my life! I want to design interiors!” Or more probably “I…. this room looks…. you know what, I coulda’ designed… this room better, I coulda’, you know what, man… man… MAN! WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN INTERIOR DESIGNERS!”.

I hope your quest for fulfillment goes well, loud person. Though really I’d pay attention to the girls on your bed first. Bow-chicka-bow-bow.